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Do you worry a lot? How do the things you worry about usually turn out? Fine, most of the time? Thought so. And how did worrying help the outcome? Yeah, it usually doesn’t. Have you ever wondered if all that worry is a big ole  waste of time?

Mmh, yeah, me too.

And how did it serve you?

Not in the least? Thought so.

I am by no means saying you should bottle everything up inside yourself. Not at all. What I’m saying is that it doesn’t serve anyone (other than maybe some onlookers for their entertainment) if you get all huffy-puffy about what will with hindesight turn out to have been a minor thing.

OK, a lot of times things don’t seem that minor to us at first, I give you that. And, as I mentioned before, I am guilty of my own drama queen moments. The trick is, to catch yourself as early as possible during one of those moments, so you can change everything for the better a. s. a. p.

Put your energy to better use

To worry is not only a waste of time but also of precious energy.

That’s why you want to practice channeling your energy towards solving your problem indstead of focusing on what has gone/might go wrong. It may need a bit of practice but it is very doable and so worth the effort.

Let me tell you a quick story on how this is done:

A while ago, around 7 am we were at the station waiting for the train when something pretty unusual happened.

While we were waiting, the train arrives. It was packed and there was no chance to get a seat. So we decided to wait for the next one which is usually rather empty.

A waste of time, you say? Absolutely not! I like mornings but I am not one of those cheery can’t-wait-to-get-out-of-my-bed-“morningers”. At 7 in the a.m. I’m just not ready for that kind of inconvenience if it can be easily avoided. If you have the bonus of flexitime, why not take advantage of it and wait for the next train to get you in comfortably? It’s only a few minutes away.

Ok, so where were we? Right, still on the platform, when this guy gets off the train. Meanwhile, another passenger, who is still on the train, signals to the gentleman that got off that he forgot his backpack. He who got off, let’s call him Mr. Calm for easier flow in telling the story, was totally oblivious of the signaling, knocking, and waving. He headed straight for the vending machine.

On his way there, he walked rather closely past us and I remember thinking: “Clearly, this guy must be drunk. Why else would he be getting off the train, without his pack only to get something from the machine? But, wait, why don’t I smell anything?” (Another one of those unconscious bias moments I am not proud of but we all have at times.) Now I kept watching him as I was trying to figure out what was going on. Nosey? No… Interested would be a better suiting word.

And, sure enough, as soon as he had dropped the coins in the slot, the beeping noises to step away from the doors came on. Our protagonist turned around, looked a bit torn for a moment but then realized that the odds are very much for his backpack to leave without him.

I am fairly sure the majority of those of us who had witnessed the whole thing were convinced that he’d make a run for it.

But no. He turned around, very calmly, and finished what he started at the vending machine.

Then, Coke in hand, he went over to one of the Irish Rail staff members and spoke to him. Again or should I say still very calmly. He presented his ticket and from what one could gather from afar, explained his situation. There was a lot of nodding going on on both sides. And after a minute or two, he joined us in waiting for the next train. Still, you guessed it, very calmly.

The next train arrived and we all got on. Then in Dun Laoghaire, the next station at which the previous train would have stopped, Mr. Calm proceeded to one of the doors where another member of the Irish Rail staff was waiting for him and handed him his backpack. Then he went back to his seat as if this was some kind of daily routine.

I was well impressed by what I had witnessed.

Why? Well, for one

• by how Mr. Calm has kept his cool during the whole thing. I mean seriously, how many of us would have gotten upset and maybe panicked in a situation like that. ‘Cause God forbid, all the things that could and probably will happen to/with our backpack. And,
• about how rescuing Mr. Calm’s backpack worked like clockwork because he kept his cool. Fantastic!

This was a wonderful way, from an observer’s point of view, of course, to start a day.

Here’s another example:

We were on our way to Orlando for a week’s couples holiday. Flying to the U. S. from Dublin there is this great thing called pre-clearance. This means you are going through the U. S. immigration process at the Dublin Airport right before you board your plane.

At this point, you’ve been through security already but you have the joy of doing it all over again.

Only this time, you have a lot less space to get organized again once you’re through. You have to take all the electronics you carry out and put them in the box provided. Then you have to be super quick to pick up all your belongings and stow them in the bags again, put on your shoes, etc.

When we were through immigration and sitting in front of the gate, I thought it would be nice to have a little chat with my daughter before we leave. After all, we haven’t really spoken all week. So I rooted for my phone.

I rooted and dug and dug and rooted, but nothing. No phone.

Last time I knew I had it was at the said security check. I asked a lady at the gate if there is any chance that I could check if my phone is still there. For me to go back was not an option. But she called the staff at security.

Nothing. No phone. She advised me to go to the lost-and-found once we are back from our holidays. Most likely someone had already taken it there.

That was something to get used to.

No phone for a whole week. No sending or receiving messages… Nothing.

It is interesting how much of a reflex it has become to reach for your phone. To check if you got a new message. I lost count on how many times I lifted my arm to do just that and then realized mid-lift that I needn’t bother. It got less after the second day.

So we spent a lovely week in Florida. And when we came back I went straight to lost-and-found at the airport.

After describing my phone I could tell by the look of the Garda’s face that she thought she had it in the backroom (or whatever it is called where they keep the lost-and-found things). But I tried not to bring my hopes up too much.

After a minute she came back and…

there it was in all its beauty. My beloved phone.

Of course, I still had to prove that it was actually mine. So she hooked it up with a charger she had at hand (of course it was dead empty after a week). When it was ready, I typed in the code and….. ta-da…I saw my daughter’s lovely face smiling back at me from the screen.

The Garda was convinced that I was the rightful owner as well and handed it over to me.

Now, the admin bit had to be taken care of. It is € 6.00 if you want to get your lost item back. Or usually, it is. As it happened, the computer didn’t work or at least the part which was needed to charge me the € 6.00.

This resulted in the Garda waiving the fee as it wasn’t my fault she couldn’t properly process it in the system. On top of that, I got the charger as well. I told her it wasn’t mine, but she insisted, saying I would do them a favor because they had loads of them.

So, what started out as a mini-catastrophe

turned out as a rather good thing actually.

I know, it sounds like a bit of an exaggeration. But only when you think you have lost your phone do you realize how you actually use it day in day out.

After the initial uttering of you-know-what, I looked at the options I had and went with the only sensible one at the time. The lady at the gate was super nice and did everything she could to help.

Then I let it go for the time we were away. There was nothing more I could have done about it at this point. What would have been the point in getting upset and spoil our holiday over it? In the end, I got it back and then some.

And you know what, after I accepted the situation I even kinda enjoyed the involuntary digital detox.

Now, here’s what I would like for you to take away from this:

If something goes wrong, don’t waste your time with worry but try this:

• Go ahead, utter a “sh*^$%” (or something of the likes) if you feel it would be a relief. I usually feel it is.
• Then take three deep breaths.
• Distract yourself from thinking that might go wrong or just did by instead
• looking at the options you have to solve the issue, think about the can-do instead of the can’t-do.

Chances are, before long you will find that it isn’t as bad as it initially seemed. And a few hours, days, weeks later you might even laugh about it. I know I’ve had many of those occasions.

What about you?

Do you have other suggestions on how we can stop to waste our time on worry? I’d love to hear your take on this. And if you have any stories or anecdotes on this, please share them below.

Have a lovely one 🙂